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Tuesday, September 01, 2009

Shark

If there is one thing I know, it's that I've got it pretty good. That being said, everything is relative. (Or caused by one's relatives.) I feel the need to take a break from almost everything right now. Knitting isn't doing it for me, and there have been some goings-on over at Ravelry that I have found to be downright upsetting. ("Stay away from the non-knitting threads, stay away from the non-knitting threads," I remind myself. "People aren't always 'excellent to one another.'" Hell, I'm not even involved in any of it and I'm bothered.) A spate of family house guests means things can get complicated, especially when, in the past, things have been complicated. Trips down memory lane sometimes have sharp drop-offs on the side of the road, and one must proceed with caution. Reunions with old friends are full of nostalgia, joy, laughter, and longing and regret over time wasted and missed opportunities. Specifically, my recently deceased friend's absence from the reunion was much harder to deal with than I'd imagined it would be given that I hadn't seen him in 15 years. There was something missing that night that couldn't be found, fixed, or replaced with anything or anyone else. I'm pretty good with the mortality thing when it comes to aging relatives, and I have a number of them who, thankfully, have been around a long time. That also means, however, that the next several years will be spattered with funerals and all of the things that go with them. I feel pretty well prepped for that, but I'm not as adept at dealing with "premature" departures. And, really, who is? Daily walks to the beach with Bonnie Raitt on the iPod are helping, and I don't care if people think I'm nuts because I'm singing along. And, because I am prone to playing certain songs over and over, I try to keep moving...like a shark. Just keep swimming. Just keep swimming.